Destroyed

I feel so depressed nowadays.
Ever since that last meeting.
I begin to wonder if this is the facade i have to put on.
To lie to everyone.
To smile and say "I'm fine" whenever anyone asks if i am ok.
To hold back my tears whenever i remember.
I want to ask that question.
But i'm afraid of the answer.
I'm afraid of the truth.
Yet, i do not wish to hear lies.
A liar always knows when someone else is lying.
I don't want to live a life full of lies.
I thought Secondary school would be a better place.
But i am wrong.
I hate each time i remember.
I hate each time i break down.
I hate each time im disappointed.
Must you make my life worse?
Isn't it enough with one person dividing the squad?
Must you add another cut onto the wound?
I thought you were bad enough to be pulling others' heart-strings.
But obviously, that was just the beginning.
Now our squad is broken up into privates and lance corporals.
I don't wish to name you because it would be a terrible embarassment to you.
When i said that if by the end of that meeting, i didn't have high blood pressure, it would be a miricle, I was right.
Because i did have high blood pressure.
Thanks for adding to the stress.
I wonder if our seniors and juniors think our level is perfect.
Because it is not, because of people like our who made our squad so beautifully divided.
If you ever believed that it was perfect, Think again.
There are so many cuts.
Its too late to heal them now.
Because the damage has already been done.
I wonder how much weight a rubber band can hold before it finally snaps.