I always have a lot to write about, up till the moment i see this page. Then my mind freezes.
Lets start off by saying how badly orientation went today. Well, all i can remember in my exhausted state of mind is how i felt so lousy after playing that stupid concentration game. I have no sense of coordination and to cut the long story short, i just completely humiliated myself and apparently everyone pitied me so much that no one dared to call me again. Cant decide if that is a good or bad thing.
That sort of crushed whatever ego i had left and ruined my good mood so i just tried pasting a smile on my face and making the best of the other games today. I am sort of dreading tomorrow, wondering what other 'surprises' it will bring. We are supposed to go on an outing tomorrow. Although i have made some friends, it just doesnt feel the same as it did with my sc friends. Perhaps friendships take time to forge but it just feels so strange and awkward when you talk to them. You have to be overly cautious about what you say, hope that nothing you say will be offensive in any way. No one gets the jokes you make and it just isn't the same anymore. With the ppl in SC, there's no need to think of what to say. Its just there. You can read each other's thoughts and complete each other's sentences. Chats can go on forever, school hours are just not enough. Of course, that's only for the closest of friends. Somehow, it just fits, effortlessly. However, there, Each coversation is only five to ten lines long, followed by an awkward silence as you scramble to find a common interest. Its like trying to force a jigsaw into a place that is obviously wrong. I wonder when i will find someone else who will make me feel comfortable enough to let my guard down for at least just a bit. At least for awhile.
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