Its Over

Its official, Red Cross is over.
I can imagine all our parents screaming out in joy that we won't ever have to go do anything related to Red Cross again, while we just quietly slink off to our bedrooms to immerse our thoughts in Chemistry, or frantically calculate Math sums, or Stuff geog information without avail into our heads. All this just to try to forget the one thing that will reduce us to tears, yet again.
I don't remember crying that hard for the past few years. It just meant that i had to move on, say goodbye, to this small group of NCOs that were leaving whom i never really knew anyways.
But i never expected this.
To bid farewell to an entire unit, people whom you've has lasting memories of, whom you put in so much effort to groom, to this entire group of people whom you've unknowingly grown so close to, its just so vastly different from the previous.
I wonder if the ex- NCOs felt this way, this hollow feeling in the pits of their stomach, the emptiness in their heart, the way everything feels so different. I wonder if they suddenly found themselves not thinking of anything else besides that or feeling so detached from their body and just going through the motions in life. Its funny how the ones i'll miss the most are actually the ones that have been in Red Cross for the shortest time. From the time i knew that i was going to be the new recruits evac mistress, i started thinking of what they would be like. Although the beginning was rather tough, they turned out to be so much better than i would ever expect them to be. I'll never regret teaching them Evac although it is really really long and difficult(good luck Maryam!) and i hope their new sec 2 mistresses will have as much fun as we did with them. Sigh better stop now or my chem book's gonna be unreadable.

I'm trying to push out this feeling, go back to studying Chem. If not, i'm going to be so dead for them chem test tomorrow.
Being the one that's going is just so much worse than being the one to say goodbye